Be a 10! Say “No” to Selling Out!

Happy February! To stir things up lately I’ve been trying out a new look…boots and leggings. It works with the cooler weather, is New Boots comfy, and feels a bit bold and brave for me. I’ve seen people wearing casual boots for years, but just recently got myself my first pair. Yep! Those in the picture.

Once I had the boots, I had to get some leggings. I didn’t own any. Then I realized there was a reason I didn’t have any leggings – let’s just say this is not the most flattering look for me. My hips are a bit wider than they used to be and are definitely wider than I’d like for them to be.

So, when my good friend asked me why I was all dressed up (wearing a new boots and leggings outfit) there were lots of ways I could have answered him.

“Why are you all dressed up?”

Julie’s Answer Options

It’s a fun outfit and I wanted to feel a bit
more put together today. Thanks for noticing.
Leggings are comfy and I was hoping that I
might do some stretching later today in them.
It is a fun, comfy and stylish look.
We’ll I’m trying out a new look, but I’m not so
sure it works for me. I feel really self-conscious with my hips – do you think
they look big? You can be honest, it’s okay. I’ve been exercising more and
toning them up a bit and feeling a bit stronger in my legs so I thought I’d try
out this look, but I’m not sure….(going on and on like this for a few more
minutes!!!)

Guess which option I chose? If you guessed
option #4, then you are right. I sat there judging, shaming, and explaining
myself. The whole conversation ended rather quickly and awkwardly.

On a scale of 0-10 (10 being showing up as my
absolute best self), in that moment I showed up at about a 4.
Arrrrgh!

So, I went back to the basics and checked in
with my body! In that moment I remembered that I was fidgety, I started to cave
my chest in, my breathing became more shallow, and I felt more empty inside – a
sort of hollow sensation.

I sold myself short. Next time, I’d like to
respond in a way that honors my true beauty and style, inside and out. Maybe
something like this – “I’m trying out a fun, new style that is very comfy! So
comfy in fact, that I might even stretch later in them!”

This response feels so much more me, more
engaging, and more true! I feel energized and excited by my style when I
respond like this. I feel respectful and loving to my beautiful body. This
would be me showing up at a 10!

This month I invite you to get curious. When do
you show up at a 10 – as your absolute best during interactions with others?
And, when do you sell out? Let’s all practice showing up at a 10 – as our best,
best selves this month? What is possible for you when you do?

Be a 10!

Pick a sell-out moment. Make
a game of it each day. Catch yourself selling yourself short, holding back,
making excuses, belittling yourself, trying to be something for someone else or
apologizing more than necessary.
Check-in with your body. What
do you notice in your body during your sell-out moment? Maybe you notice a
heaviness, stuckness, shallow breathing, or a shrinking feeling in your chest or
belly. Get curious.
Rate it! 0-10, how much were
you showing up fully in that moment?
A 10! Now ask yourself, “What
would it have looked like or felt like in that situation if I had shown up as a
10- fully me?” Get a sense of some specific things that you could have done or
said differently. Imagine yourself doing those things and feel it in your
body. What do you notice now?
Practice and celebrate. Go
out and show up at a 10. Celebrate when you do or even when you get close! Know
that no one shows up at a 10 in every single moment. With practice though,
you’ll create more and more 10 moments is your amazing life.

You are a beautiful, vibrant, dynamic and wise
woman! No selling out this month. It is the month of love. Love and honor
yourself first. Be a 10!

Peace and Love,
Julie

Your Body Truth Knows

Most of you are probably familiar with the language and voices in your mind. If your mind is anything like mine, then it is on, working and talking, often very loudly, 24/7. Did you know that your body has its own voice and language, too?

Your body talks to you and gives you information every second about the world around you, what you feel, your truth, and your life. It doesn’t lie.

Your body speaks in sensations instead of words. The sensations in your body paired with your beliefs about those sensations are what create your feelings. You can probably name some of your feelings, but you may have a hard time deciphering the underlying sensations that led you to those feelings in the first place.

Brave and Bold Challenge

The next time you clearly notice that you are feeling a specific emotion – like happy, sad, angry, lonely, excited, anxious, etc. – start paying attention to all of the underlying sensations present in your body. Examples of sensations include cold, heat, pressure, tension, tingle, flow, open, prickly, shaking, flushed, constricted, etc.

Every sensation has something to say to you. The more you start to tune into them the better you’ll get to know them, their meaning, and the meaning you make of them. As a result you’ll be able to make decisions from your body and mind together. You’ll feel confident and clear, and you’ll have more trust in yourself and your decisions than you ever imagined.

Share one of your recent noticeable body truths and how you determined their meaning. What decisions were you able to make as a result of focusing on your emotions and sensations?

Julie Zeff is a Life Coach for busy and working moms; Author of Vivid Living for Busy Moms: Coach Yourself to an Extraordinary Life – Coming in 2012; and a trained Forest yoga instructor building strength and flexibility with emotional and spiritual intelligence. Request her FREE report – Top 10 Tips to Vivid Living or receive her FREE Monthly Coaching Tidbits and 5 Anytime, Anywhere Breathing Tips by visiting: http://www.vividliving.net.

Vision Board Your Way to an Extraordinary 2012!

What a fabulous holiday break. We had a visit from Grandma Ellie and Grandpa Dan from Chicago and spent the holidays with friends and family. We even took a trip to ski in the snow. My two girls had their first ski lesson ever. One loved it and one was her fearless and reckless self. The best part about the break was that my husband, Ken, was off work too and we all got to be together for days on end. It was an absolute joy. Here is a picture of the kids after some sledding.

One of my favorite things about this time of year is – January 1^st – the New Year – a new beginning full of endless possibility. Like most of you, I have some intentions and resolutions for 2012. I plan to laugh more, yell less, grow my business more, waste time less, spend more time with my family, email less, exercise more, eat less, give more and buy less. I feel absolutely invigorated when I imagine myself living this way in 2012.

Then, why, in a few weeks or months will these intentions and resolutions, for most of us, seem like songs we’ve long forgotten – you know – like the ones from the 80’s that we remember when we hear them, but NEVER consciously think about? Mostly, it is because we simply forget about our resolutions and resort back to our old patterns and habits as soon as the fresh excitement of possibility wears off.

I heard this interesting tidbit from a fellow coach a couple years back. Do you know how long people, on average, keep a New Years resolution? A month? Two weeks? A week? Actually is only for 72 hours! Goodness – how are we ever going to make lasting changes at that rate?

Here’s a fun and simple tool that can really help. Make a Vision Board! Get out those colored markers, scissors (or scrap the scissors and just tear), favorite old magazines that have been piling up, poster board, glue and let’s get going. I made mine on New Year’s eve. Our friends and 5 kids all made 2012 vision boards together. Take a peek at mine here!

A Vision Board is a visual representation of who you want to be, what you want to have, and where you’re heading. It is a collage that you’ll hang up. The belief is that if you surround yourself with pictures and images of what it is that you most desire then it sinks into your cells and unconsciously (and consciously) you start to create exactly what you most desire.

Make Your 2012 Vision Board

(Here’s what I suggest, but please do be creative and let your inspiration and intuition flow.)

First, get all of your materials together.
• Poster Board or even just a plain old piece of paper
• Markers
• Magazines of subjects that excite or interest you
• Glue
• Scissors (or feel free to just tear)
• Fun or inspiring music and a candle to help set the mood (optional)
• Anything else you think you’d like to put on your Vision Board
Set an intention for your Vision Board. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. If you are doing one for the New Year, your theme or intention might be, “All I Want To Be, Have and Create in 2012”. Take a few breaths and let the images, colors, sounds, smells and sensations of 2012 come to you. If you want, you can give 2012 a name – an actual name or metaphor that represents your main focus for the year. Write this down on the poster board or just keep it in mind as you head into the next steps.
Collect Inspiration and Images. Flip through the magazines and tear or cut out the pictures, words or anything else that catches your eye and represents who you want to be and what you want to have and create in 2012. No need to glue anything just yet.
Make it stick! When you are ready, arrange all the images on your poster board. Feel free to draw your own pictures or write your own words. Then, glue away.
Front and Center! Hang your Vision Board someplace where you’ll see it EVERYDAY in 2012!! Give yourself a daily dose of what’s most important.

A Vision Board is something fun and simple that you can do quickly or take lots of juicy time to complete. But don’t take too long. 2012 is here. Don’t waste a minute of it – live a 2012 and life that is vivid and extraordinary!

Happy New Year!!

P.S. If you make a Vision Board, I’d love to see it. Email it to me and I’ll celebrate your amazing 2012 with you!

P.P.S. Also, if you want a clearer vision of what your amazing 2012 looks and feels like then download my Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!Year-End Audio Download where I’ll guide you through a 45-minute visualization to get you tapped into the vision and energy of your extraordinary 2012. Click here for more information.

Julie Zeff is a Life Coach for busy and working moms; Author of Vivid Living for Busy Moms: Coach Yourself to an Extraordinary Life – to be published in 2012; and a trained Forest yoga instructor building strength and flexibility with emotional and spiritual intelligence. Sign-up to receive her FREE Monthly Coaching Tidbits and 5 Anytime, Anywhere Breathing Tips by visiting: http://www.vividliving.net.

Brave and Bold Challenge to Living a Vivid Life You Love!

We sometimes need reinforcement in our lives in order to take care of those things that we want for ourselves. Here are several brave and bold challenges for yourself that can lead you towards the vivid and extraordinary live you love.

Every day, throughout the day, take a conscious breath and say to yourself, “I CAN have and live a vivid and extraordinary life I love!”
Create structures for yourself that will remind you of your new belief. Say it to yourself when you wake up, before you go to bed, while brushing your teeth, and/or whenever you are sitting at a red light. Post sticky notes in visible locations with this powerful belief written on them and/or set reminders in your calendar to remind yourself to focus on it.

It’s ok if you don’t fully believe it yet. The more you say it and breathe into it the truer and more real it will become. And, it’s ok if you don’t know how to create a vivid and extraordinary life for yourself yet. It’s ok if you don’t know what it will look like or feel like in the future. All of that will come with time. For now, just practice infusing your body, cells and life with the belief and knowing that YOU absolutely can live a vivid and extraordinary life.

Are You a Believer? Tips to Vivid Living!

The very first step to living a vivid and extraordinary life is to believe that you can actually have and live one. No one is born with a vivid and extraordinary life. A true, rich and vibrant life is one that is created consciously day-by-day and minute-by-minute.

For many of you, believing you can truly live a vivid and extraordinary life in the midst of changing diapers, packing lunches, car pooling, chauffeuring, working, or at any stage you are at of motherhood, might feel like an impossible, unattainable dream. I’m here to tell you it is absolutely possible.

I can also assure you that if you don’t believe it IS possible then you definitely won’t live a vivid and extraordinary life. Don’t settle for living a life you like, when a vivid and extraordinary life you love is waiting for you.

What are your thoughts about what steps you will take, or what steps have you already taken, to become a believer in creating a vivid and extraordinary life. Share your comments below.

Download your copy of “Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!” today.

Jump for joy – Vivid Living in 2012 is on it’s way!

Take some time this weekend or in the last weeks of 2011 to set your intentions from the inside out for the glorious year to come.

I know you are busy. The holidays are almost here. You are wrapping things up for the year. Your to-do list is a mile!!

If doing something for yourself is last on your list, then move yourself up! Do something for that will nourish YOU. Do something that will get you clarity, direction and revved up about creating and living a 2012 that is extraordinary.

Download your copy of “Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!” today.

Most likely, an extraordinary 2012 isn’t just going to happen by itself. It takes some intention-setting and focus. And, in order to do that you need to slow down a bit, to get quiet and listen to all of your wisdom within. (It’s in there, I promise!)

In just 45-minutes I’ll guide you to do just that – step-by-step. I’ll guide you to slow down and to look within, to find what is true and important for you to remember about 2011 and to look forward with excitement to 2012.

You absolutely deserve 45-minutes of “Me-Time”. Don’t let this chance to feed your heart, soul and spirit pass you by.

All you need is 45-minutes of uninterrupted time, some paper and pens or makers. Then, you’ve got everything you need to say “Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!”

It is a great deal, too. For just $9.97 you can download this audio and listen to it anytime you wish, as many times as you wish. A 45-minute session with me like this is normally $130.00.

Your vivid and extraordinary 2012 is waiting!

Download your copy of “Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!” today.

Please email me know if you have any questions. And, I would be honored to hear about your intentions and dreams for 2012. Please do share!

Happy Holidays!

Hugs and Love,
Julie

November Gratitude Tips

Does it feel like your life is going by on triple fast forward? Lately, especially, I’ve been feeling this way.

Life just seems to be flying by faster than ever taken up with the daily tasks of being a mom of 3, running a business and making time for family and friends. It is sometimes super challenging to be present to what is happening in my body and life. Yet, there is so much that I’m thankful for and that I don’t want to miss.

During this time of Thanksgiving, I invite you to slow down, look around, appreciate the cool breeze, drink in a smile and take time to pause and feel your amazing life.

Even if you aren’t living a life you love, everywhere, yet, there is much to appreciate. (And, by taking time to slow down and notice, I bet you’ll get even closer to living a life you absolutely love!)

Here are 3 of my favorite tips to help you drink in a delicious, delicious November and a vivid and extraordinary life you love.

November Gratitude Tips

Any time you think of it, take a moment to look around and say “Thank You” for anything that you appreciate, big or little.
Each evening think of three things that brought a smile to your face or that you are thankful for. (You can hang a “Thank You” sticky note on your bed or nightstand as a reminder.)
Every morning choose an intention or focus for the day. (I love to do this before I get out of bed or while in the shower.) Write it down on a sticky note or create a structure to remind yourself of it. Before bed note the ways you honored your intention/focus.

Enjoy slowing down this month and drinking in all that your life has to offer.

You can begin right now.

I’m going to stop typing for a moment to say, “Thank You” for my washing machine (even thought it is banging, knocking and particularly noisy right now), “Thank You” to the open window and breeze coming in above my desk and sweetly blowing over my face and arms, and “Thank You” to my three peacefully sleeping children for sleeping so peacefully!

Enjoy your gratitude adventure this week.

Much Peace and Love,

Julie

Facing Your Fears Successfully!

A few days ago a client and I came up with a Fear-Facing Formula together – she was facing some of her big, scary fears and Ogres (So courageous!). I’ve tweaked the formula a bit since our session so it can be used to help any and everyone face even the toughest of fears.

I offer you the Fear-Facing Formula and invite you to come face to face with some of your fears. This is especially apropos as we move into November – one of the last months of 2011. Can you believe it? I encourage you to revisit your resolutions and intentions for 2011.

Congratulate yourself on the ones you’ve lived into or completed successfully. And, if there are still ones that you’ve let slide or that bring up fear or anxiety for you then use the Fear-Facing Formula below to help you jump-start your plans to follow through. It’s not too late!

Fear-Facing Formula

1. State your fear. “I am afraid of/to…”
2. Notice your sensations. Take some breaths and notice the sensations in your body that are present when you think about your fear (Maybe you notice short breaths, tight shoulders, caved-in chest, heart palpitations, etc.)
3. What’s the worst? Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that will happen if I move forward anyway and do the thing I’m afraid of?”
4. What’s the best? Ask yourself, “What are the best benefits for me and maybe even for others if I do move forward and do the thing I’m afraid of?”
5. Imagine. How do you imagine you’ll feel once you face your fear?
6. Choose. Do you want to move forward anyway? Is it worth it to you? You get to choose.
7. Then, do it! Face your fear…move forward anyway…even if you’re scared. (Sometimes doing some movement can help to jump-start things. My daughter loves to do cartwheels to help her get the courage and momentum to take her medicine. What movement would give you courage and momentum to face your fear?)

This November face your fears and go be that person you most want to be!

Don’t wait for the stars to align and for everything to be just right or “perfect” to move forward or do something important to you. Why wait any longer?

Enjoy using the Fear-Facing Formula. We’ll keep using it over here this month. Share some of your successes or tell us about your struggles and let us help you face those fears and move yourself forward by leaving your comments below.

Heart Wide-Open

Welcome to October. If you are Jewish, as I am, you get to
celebrate the most important holiday of the year this month – Yom Kippur (the
Day of Atonement).

This is always a time of deep soul-searching. Goodness knows it
isn’t easy to ask for forgiveness for my wrong-doings or to forgive others for
theirs. If there is any time to try, this is it! I’m doing it for me and for all
of those that I love.

I’m going to be 40 years old on my next birthday. And, despite
the fact that I’ve been alive for a few decades now, am a mom of three beautiful
children, I’m a wife of a husband that I absolutely adore (my son and husband
are in the picture here), and am overall what most people would call, an adult,
I STILL get into fights with my mom.

How can that be? I’m not some hormonal teenage girl anymore! Yet
just a couple of months back, during what was overall a very pleasant family
visit, I found myself slinking back to my bedroom, with my heart pounding, and
blood pumping after a fight with my mom.

I felt like I was 15 years old again. I felt miserable and
misunderstood. I was sad, angry, embarrassed, scared and I crawled into bed and
journaled like crazy to try to understand what had just happened.

My first teenage-like instinct was to blame her. She was all
wrong! I was sure of it. I was right. How could she not have seen that? And, of
course, I thought, how could SHE do this again to ME again and make me feel like
this. Lots of blame…

Then a song popped into my head and wouldn’t let go. I had heard
it earlier that day, but didn’t really know the words. So, feeling curious I
looked them up on my nifty iphone – my years of teenage angst would have been so
much more fun if I’d had iphone back then – I looked up lyrics to the song
“SAY” – By John Mayer.

And, these were the lyrics that shifted everything for me in
that moment.

Take out of your wasted honor
Every little past
frustration
Take all your so-called problems,
Better put them in
quotations

Say what you need to say

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is
broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide
open

Say what you need to say

Although I felt like I had said what I needed to say – not
always in the most mature manner, I’ll admit – I realized that my heart was
closed, angry, and hard. And, I was feeling terribly sorry for myself.

I took a few deep breaths into my heart. I loosened up the
hardness, shook off some of the old crust and here’s what I uncovered.

LOVE! I could feel how much I love my mom and how much she loves
me. And, here’s what I needed to say…(I said it to myself in my head)….No matter
what our fight was about or how sloppy we chose to be in the heat of the moment,
we were both trying to do the best we could and underneath it all – all the
ugliness, all the pain and frustration – we love each other deeply. That fact is
indisputable.

I could suddenly breathe easier, and I felt lovingly humble. I
could forgive my mom. Maybe I could even forgive myself. And, maybe…just maybe
some day my kids will be able to forgive me for whatever pains I am sure to
cause them.

So, even if you aren’t Jewish and aren’t celebrating Yom Kippur
this month, I encourage you to take some time to forgive – to forgive others
(those that are still here with you and possibly even those that have passed) –
and to forgive yourself.

You can begin right now…

Take a moment here to close your eyes and put your hand on your
heart. Take a few breaths. Feel your heart under your hand and your hand over
your heart. Let your heart open wide. Pry off any crust or hardness that you
find there, blow or even scrub off any dust or dirt that covers or dampens it.
Breathe love and life into your heart – especially into those spots that might
be numb, dark, or under-nourished.

And, now, have the courage to see in your minds-eye and feel in
your heart one person you would like to forgive? Anyone. Now do just that – with
a heart wide-open, full of love and life, say what you need to say (say it to
yourself or say it out loud) – and forgive.

It is not easy and it might just be the most important act of
your life. Not just for yourself – but maybe even for the generations to
come…

Much Peace, Love, Light and Forgiveness!

Julie

The Tolls of Life

Welcome to August! Where has the summer gone? It seems like just yesterday it was May and school was ending. Now, we are in the last month of summer already.

Many of you may have heard about something called a Bucket List or I call it a 100 Things to do in Your Lifetime List. I wrote about it a few years ago and you’ll see it again in my upcoming book, Vivid Living for Busy Moms.

Now that my 2.5 year old is, well, 2.5 and I’m no longer in baby survival mode, I am able to create more space and time in my life to do things that really get my blood pumping. My 100 Things to do in Your Lifetime List helps me focus on doing activities that I really want to do and helps me make decisions that are in line with my dreams and passions. At least it usually works this way.

At the beginning of July we spent a week with my husband’s parents and about 30 other families at the Montecito Sequoia Lodge – Family Camp. Kids two and over have captivating camp activities planned for them all day long. During that time the adults get to play, too.

I felt like a kid again. I went horseback riding (see picture above), carved a sculpture out of soapstone, learned to paint with watercolors, had a mountain biking lesson, made a necklace, did a yoga class, did land and water aerobics, watched my husband take my kids on a canoe ride, went hiking, and learned to play the guitar – all in one week. It was glorious.

At one point I gave myself the option to nap/read or go to a beginning guitar lesson. I knew I had always wanted to play the guitar, but felt tired and would have loved the time to rest. In the end, I remembered that playing guitar was on my 100 Things to do in Your Lifetime List.

So, dragging my feet a bit, I headed off to Guitar 101. I learned my first chord and was hooked. It was like my fingers found a new home. They couldn’t wait to get playing the guitar every chance they had. And, I even played my first song, Blowin’ in the Wind at the Coffee House night.

I was so proud of myself and if it weren’t for the reinforcement of my list I might not ever have taken a guitar lesson in my life. My list powerfully did just what it was supposed to do!

Then a few weeks later, I blew it! I had an opportunity put right in my lap to live fully and cross something off my list and I let it slip away! I let my Ogres (my self-defeating thoughts and patterns) get in the way.

I courageously took my two and four year old on a road trip to San Francisco to visit a dear girlfriend of mine and my brother. We had an amazing trip and stayed the first two nights in Marin County – just outside of San Francisco. We had to drive in to the city to see my girlfriend which meant we got to cross over the Golden Gate Bridge. My kids loved the bridge (and so did I) we all got super excited, and giddy as we crossed it.

When I headed across it the first time, I had to pay a $6 toll. It just so happens in that moment I remembered that # 82 on my Top 100 Things to do in Your Lifetime List is – Pay the toll for 5 people in line behind me.

I was next to pay and an excited, alive and kind of daring voice inside said, “Do it. Pay the toll for the 5 people behind you. You’ll feel so good about it and it will be so much fun to see how people react and what a great teaching moment for the kids.”

Then my Ogre voice said, “But, can’t you find a less expensive toll to pay for 5 people – I mean $6 each, really? What if you don’t have enough cash left for the rest of your trip?” Arrrrgh that rotten Ogre voice – I let him win. My turn to pay came quickly and I selfishly just paid my toll.

I’ll get you next time you rotten Ogre. I was kicking myself as I drove off in shame. I let my fears get the better of me. Never again – at least as far as #82 on my list is concerned! Living in L.A. there aren’t a whole lot of tolls. But the next time I’m at one you’d better believe I’m paying the toll for the 5 people behind me!

This August I invite you to create your own 100 Things to do in Your Lifetime List if you haven’t created one already.

If you already created one, look it over to remind yourself of all of the things you want to do in your lifetime and see what else you can cross off this month. Do more to consciously live your vivid and extraordinary life. No need to let those Ogres or complacency get the best of you.

Go out and cross some things off your list this month – even just crossing one thing off your list is progress and is something to celebrate.

No excuses. No Ogres. Get to crossing things off!

100 Things to Do in Your Lifetime List

Write a list of 100 things you want to do in your lifetime. This is a fun exercise to get you thinking about your short and long-term dreams, desires, passions, and wishes. The sky is the limit! Really!! Dream BIG!
1.
2.
3.
4.…and so on…

Click here to view my (Julie’s) Top 100 Things to do in Your Lifetime List.

Enjoy crossing things off your list and living your vivid and extraordinary life this August.

Much Peace and Love,
Julie

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Be a 10! Say “No” to Selling Out!

Your Body Truth Knows

Vision Board Your Way to an Extraordinary 2012!

Brave and Bold Challenge to Living a Vivid Life You Love!

Are You a Believer? Tips to Vivid Living!

Jump for joy – Vivid Living in 2012 is on it’s way!

November Gratitude Tips

Facing Your Fears Successfully!

Heart Wide-Open

The Tolls of Life

Request Your Free Report : Top Ten Tips To Vivid Living

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